Reflections: Part 1

Today seems like a good time to reflect on our experiences since starting this grand adventure.

To recap, the adventure started in the spring of 2007 when Bob decided to retire from Lexmark. (This was, of course, his second retirement after retiring from the navy in 1992.) But I wasn't sure I wanted to retire yet:I had a job I loved, great students, best colleagues, wonderful flexibility. So we compromised and decided to try an experiment in retirement to see how it suited us. I took a year's leave of absence from my job at JCTC's Shelbyville campus. We decided to try living for a few months in Mexico because we really enjoy traveling, Mexico was fairly close, and we could drive there with the dogs! We had visited the area of Lake Chapala at Thanksgiving 2006 and decided to give the village of Ajijic a try for awhile. So we spent May through September 2007 in Ajijic, then returned home to Frankfort to put the house on the market. We closed on the house in early March 2008 and went back to Ajijic in April. I extended my leave for another year while our experiment continued. In December, we left Mexico to spend several months here in Fairhope. And I decided I want to go back to my job.

(Here, you can go back to the archives to May 2007 if you want more details.)

Anyway, since the point after all was experimentation, I keep thinking about what exactly we've learned from all that. I'm speaking for myself (Betty) here; maybe Bob will want to contribute later.

So, what have I learned?
1) Stuff:Having sold the big house in the country in KY, eliminated years and years of accumulated stuff, and stored the rest in a 10 x 20 storage unit in Frankfort, I've found that I'm quite comfortable with less and could probably do with even less stuff than we have with us. (I think these points will have to have to have subpoints):
a) Clothes: Got rid of tons of clothes and now I still feel like I have too many. All I really need is about 4 outfits because, after all, who really cares what I wear? All I want is comfort and not to look disreputable.

b) Books: Tons of books are in storage, mostly for Susannah, and some for us. It's not that I don't want them any more; it's just that they're so weighty and take up so much room. We have our Kindles (see www.amazon.com)and those are wonderful for trips and places where we don't have access to many English-language libraries.

c) Kitchen: I still have a lot of things in storage, but have found that as I need things that are there, not with me, I'm duplicating them. I do like having my own kitchen stuff.

d) Other: We do like having some of our collectibles with us: art, pottery, particlular serving pieces, etc. Those are the things that make wherever we are feel like home.

2) Communication: Absolutely must have broadband internet access for email and news and instant knowledge (Google is my best friend) wherever we are. The few days we spent on the west coast of Mexico in November with nothing but a Mexican cell phone were bearable only because I knew it was limited to a week. The enforced isolation from instant communication was good for me, I know, and I should probably be more disciplined. But the fact is, I'm an internet/communications junkie. There are worse things.

3) Home: Very interesting. Maybe because of the years in the navy, moving around, having temporary quarters--we haven't really truly missed having a home of our own. I enjoy the challenge of settling in, making a new place feel like home, storing things where I can find them again (not always so successful at this), getting to know our way around, where to shop, where to walk, etc. That's part of why this feels like an adventure.

The other thing about home is size. After living in fairly big houses for a number of years (3 kids growing up, dogs, cats, etc.), I'm finding smaller quarters quite comfortable. 2 bedrooms, 2 baths (must have! Too old to share any more), reasonable size kitchen, maybe a nook for office. Easier to take care of and a smaller carbon footprint. Limited yard/garden. Enough to satisfy the miminalist gardener in me, but not so much to be burdensome.

And neighborhood. We really enjoyed the village life in Ajijic and here in Fairhope. Pleasant streets to walk, close enough to shops, etc. to walk to without having to get in the car every time we go out the door.

4) Location: Ah, this was a very big question for us: does it matter where we live? Climate? Proximity to our kids? Lifestyle? And the answer is.........yes and no. We loved the climate in the highlands of Mexico--not too hot, not too cold. Except that when the temperature did drop in November, with no means of heating the house, I did feel the cold inside. Outside, it was fine. Inside, in the mornings and evenings, sometimes I couldn't get warm enough. So then, I'm wondering, if I have AC in the summer and heat in the winter, how important is climate? Well, there's the environmental factor-using too much power. And there's the question of having to be out in extremes of heat or cold. Here in Fairhope, the winter is very, very mild with the need for a little bit of heat on chilly nights and mornings, but summers are a very different situation. Too hot, too humid to be outside much. Maybe Kentucky is just right...except for winter and summer! So, the answer to climate for me...I think...is that we're adaptable.
But what about proximity to our kids? That question we were able to answer definitively and unanimously: none of us liked the barrier--real or perceived--of our living out of the US, despite Vonage phones and email. Maybe for short time periods but not for extended ones. And lifestyle, whatever that really means? Living in the part of Mexico where we did felt very much to us (maybe only to me) like living in a dream world, a fairy tale--certainly not one that is ideal, but one that nevertheless didn't feel real. Living in an enclave of expat Americans and Canadians, I felt disconnected from real world issues and realities, even though they were all around me. I wondered if this is what living in a retirement village is like. Sort of like the movie Truman. I want to stress that this is my perception only; we have many friends who live there and have made that their real world with no sense of disconnect. I'm only saying that it didn't work for me. Would I go back? Absolutely. I hope to go back soon and often. I just don't see it as a viable way of living for us. Not yet anyway.

5) Work: This was a big question for me. I got a late start in my career in higher ed, and I was lucky enough to find a great deal of satisfaction in it. While there were so many things I could have done--and planned to do--during this hiatus from work, I found myself restless, unable to commit to volunteering or personal enrichment. No matter what, I just couldn't seem to establish the kind of goals and structure that I was used to doing with a work schedule. These few weeks in Fairhope have been closer to that kind of satisfactory mix of activities: taking the pottery class once a week, caring for Gaby a few times a week, taking walks with Bob and the dogs, watching movies with Bob, reading. But I do want to go back to work in August. For how long, I don't know, but I'm ready to go back.

Mostly, I just feel really lucky to have had this period of experimentation to step back and take stock. Maybe I'll add more reflections as we get closer to the next stage.