Goodbye 2009

December 31, 2009
Shelbyville, KY

Well, don't fall over, those of you who used to read this space. I finally overcame my blogging inertia and decided to post an end of the year update. One of you readers told me a few months ago that you kept checking for some update since Passover...but there was nothing here. So, here goes.

Recapping the end of last year and early 2009, we left Mexico to spend a few months in Fairhope, Alabama to be close to Corey, Candy, and Gaby. We rented a cute little cottage just half a block from the bluff overlooking Mobile Bay. We thoroughly enjoyed Fairhope, being walking distance from shops, restaurants, the library, the arts center where I took pottery classes. And, of course, we had lots of C,C, and G time, especially with Gaby. We babysat quite a lot while Corey and Candy worked. That time went really fast.

We did some traveling during our time there. In late March we went to Florida and visited with Bob's sister Joan and her husband Sam, then Tarpon Springs to see Joni and Bob Cooke, then North Palm Beach to see my brother Ed and Kris and meet Kris' dad and his partner for the first time, and back through St. Pete to see Jan and Bill Riley and their kids. Lucky us to have so many family and friends in Florida.

In April, having decided that I wanted to return to my job this fall, we came to KY to house hunt and bought an old (1914) Arts and Crafts bungalow on Main Street in Shelbyville where my college is, just two miles down the street. While we were here, we got the sad news that Joan's husband Sam Gowan had passed away, so we went to Gainesville again for the funeral. In late May, we drove to northern VA/DC to see Susannah and John, where we flew out to France to spend a couple of weeks with Joni and Bob at a seaside cottage in Brittany and a few days in Paris. The weather was perfect. Back to Virginia for a few days with Susannah and John, visited local wineries and antique shops--more beautiful weather. Then we drove back to Alabama in early June where the heat and humidity from hell had descended on the Gulf Coast. While we were packing up for yet another relocation, we managed to squeeze in a trip to nearby Panama City and meet up with the Rileys' extended family and friends. Bob, Corey, and Candy went fishing about 60 miles offshore with Bill, Danny, Mark, etc. and came back with gorgeous red snapper, which we ate that night, cooking them on the outdoor grills at the resort. Yummy. Gaby got to meet yet more cousins (several times removed, but who's counting when you have new cousins to play with?)and they barely got out of the swimming pool long enough to eat or sleep.

We left Fairhope on the first of July to move to Shelbyville, putting down some sort of roots for the first time in over two years. But we were ready. The weather was incredibly cool, barely 70 over the long 4th of July weekend. We were wearing long sleeves in Ky in midsummer! The weather stayed mild for the most part. Joan came to visit for a week; Corey, Candy, and Gaby came for a few days. We were glad to be near Mindy and Mark again (in Louisville). The first of August, Mindy and Mark drove with us to Virginia because we all had tickets for the Paul McCartney concert. (I think I should blog that separately. What an incredible event that was.)

Along with moving, getting our stuff out of storage, unpacking, traveling, having company, I was also getting ready to go back to work. Bob decided to teach one course for us, so he was prepping, too, to teach an Intro to Computers course. The experience of returning to work full time for me should probably also get a separate blog, so I'll just say here that I found it amazingly satisfying all around. Going back to a work environment with people I enjoy and respect (and I think reciprocate)along with the challenge of setting up new courses for new students has been stimulating and exciting. Maybe more about that another time.

Along with work, we've also been redecorating and now remodeling our old house. We've painted a couple of rooms, stripped wallpaper from one, Bob has mastered the art of repairing plaster walls. And we're adding another bathroom, going through what was a closet off our bedroom, into the space under the eaves. It will be cozy but very nice, I think. Our contractor, Jeff, does a lot of work with old houses and has a great deal of respect for them. His crew is largely mexicano, very simpatico, and speak English very well, although we try to practice our diminishing Spanish skills with them.

We went back to Virginia for Thanksgiving with Susannah and John and John's family. We went to another great concert while we were there, the Brian Setzer Christmas Extravaganza. Lots of fun. Susannah came to visit a few days with us by herself since John was working. (I neglected to say that they were both summarily fired by their company in one sudden, unexplained move several weeks ago. They were both offered new jobs, though, within days, thankfully, and John went straight back to work within a week. Susannah decided to wait for a better offer, which came a couple of weeks later. She starts the new job January 4 and has used the six weeks or so off work to catch up on household things and visit us.)

We made a quick trip to Alabama after our grades were done and brought Gaby back with us to spend a few days. We had a great time and she's a real trooper. She likes "Shelbybille." We took Gaby to her other grandparents Christmas Eve, just in time for Mommy and Daddy and Santa to get there. Then C, C, and G spent a couple of days with us this week with Mark and Mindy coming out last night, too. Along with Pam and Steve and Millie and Caitlin, Gaby's new friend.

So, it's New Year's Eve. The kids have left to go on to their next destination before returning to Alabama. Susannah and John are having their annual New Years Eve party for their friends, Mark and Mindy have plans in Louisville, the workmen have all trooped out of the house (bathroom not yet finished, of course--maybe two more weeks?), and we are blessedly alone! It's a gray and dreary winter day but not terribly cold. Possibily some light snow or icy rain tonight. We're staying in tonight with left-over soup, some bubbly, and old movies. But we're thinking of all of you--good friends and family. For too many people, 2009 was a horrible year in so many ways. For us, it was a very happy and healthy one--if a bit unsettled, literally. We're very lucky. But for all of you, we want to wish a better year, a better decade, with lots of love, good health, and happiness--maybe even some prosperity, too!

Betty and Bob

Happy Passover

We're about to start our family seder, this second night of Passover. Last night we spent a wonderful evening with friends Mark and Mary Jane at their seder. Then Mark amd Mel arrived late last night from Louisville. So tonight it's just family and will be Gaby's first seder. But I'm missing Susannah and John so much. It's been a very long, long time since we've had a seder with the whole family. I'm also missing our Mexican friends, remembering the spontaneous and unexpected seder we had there last year. So happy and sad. But remembering everybody.

The latest dispute in a long marriage

(Hey, look, I'm blogging!)

As if there weren't enough issues in long-term relationships, this is the most recent. Article in today's NYTimes: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/29/fashion/29netflix.html?ref=fashion

Here's a quote:
“I had ‘English Patient’ for more than six months,” Mr. Marino confessed. “It was an insane amount of time.” He recalled starting the same discussion with his wife, night after night, as they flipped among the five DVDs from their Netflix subscription. “Do you want to watch this? Do you want to watch this? Do you want to watch ‘English Patient?’ ”

“No,” was the response he got.

Soon, Mr. Marino could not even get the full title out of his mouth before it was shot out of the sky like the English Patient himself.

“It was like, ‘Eng — —’ ”

“No.”

“It just sat. My wife thought it would be too depressing. I’m like, ‘When are you going to be in the mood to watch it?’ She’s like, ‘I don’t know.’ ”

Eventually, it was returned unwatched."

Oh, well, maybe you have to be there.

Reflections: Part 1

Today seems like a good time to reflect on our experiences since starting this grand adventure.

To recap, the adventure started in the spring of 2007 when Bob decided to retire from Lexmark. (This was, of course, his second retirement after retiring from the navy in 1992.) But I wasn't sure I wanted to retire yet:I had a job I loved, great students, best colleagues, wonderful flexibility. So we compromised and decided to try an experiment in retirement to see how it suited us. I took a year's leave of absence from my job at JCTC's Shelbyville campus. We decided to try living for a few months in Mexico because we really enjoy traveling, Mexico was fairly close, and we could drive there with the dogs! We had visited the area of Lake Chapala at Thanksgiving 2006 and decided to give the village of Ajijic a try for awhile. So we spent May through September 2007 in Ajijic, then returned home to Frankfort to put the house on the market. We closed on the house in early March 2008 and went back to Ajijic in April. I extended my leave for another year while our experiment continued. In December, we left Mexico to spend several months here in Fairhope. And I decided I want to go back to my job.

(Here, you can go back to the archives to May 2007 if you want more details.)

Anyway, since the point after all was experimentation, I keep thinking about what exactly we've learned from all that. I'm speaking for myself (Betty) here; maybe Bob will want to contribute later.

So, what have I learned?
1) Stuff:Having sold the big house in the country in KY, eliminated years and years of accumulated stuff, and stored the rest in a 10 x 20 storage unit in Frankfort, I've found that I'm quite comfortable with less and could probably do with even less stuff than we have with us. (I think these points will have to have to have subpoints):
a) Clothes: Got rid of tons of clothes and now I still feel like I have too many. All I really need is about 4 outfits because, after all, who really cares what I wear? All I want is comfort and not to look disreputable.

b) Books: Tons of books are in storage, mostly for Susannah, and some for us. It's not that I don't want them any more; it's just that they're so weighty and take up so much room. We have our Kindles (see www.amazon.com)and those are wonderful for trips and places where we don't have access to many English-language libraries.

c) Kitchen: I still have a lot of things in storage, but have found that as I need things that are there, not with me, I'm duplicating them. I do like having my own kitchen stuff.

d) Other: We do like having some of our collectibles with us: art, pottery, particlular serving pieces, etc. Those are the things that make wherever we are feel like home.

2) Communication: Absolutely must have broadband internet access for email and news and instant knowledge (Google is my best friend) wherever we are. The few days we spent on the west coast of Mexico in November with nothing but a Mexican cell phone were bearable only because I knew it was limited to a week. The enforced isolation from instant communication was good for me, I know, and I should probably be more disciplined. But the fact is, I'm an internet/communications junkie. There are worse things.

3) Home: Very interesting. Maybe because of the years in the navy, moving around, having temporary quarters--we haven't really truly missed having a home of our own. I enjoy the challenge of settling in, making a new place feel like home, storing things where I can find them again (not always so successful at this), getting to know our way around, where to shop, where to walk, etc. That's part of why this feels like an adventure.

The other thing about home is size. After living in fairly big houses for a number of years (3 kids growing up, dogs, cats, etc.), I'm finding smaller quarters quite comfortable. 2 bedrooms, 2 baths (must have! Too old to share any more), reasonable size kitchen, maybe a nook for office. Easier to take care of and a smaller carbon footprint. Limited yard/garden. Enough to satisfy the miminalist gardener in me, but not so much to be burdensome.

And neighborhood. We really enjoyed the village life in Ajijic and here in Fairhope. Pleasant streets to walk, close enough to shops, etc. to walk to without having to get in the car every time we go out the door.

4) Location: Ah, this was a very big question for us: does it matter where we live? Climate? Proximity to our kids? Lifestyle? And the answer is.........yes and no. We loved the climate in the highlands of Mexico--not too hot, not too cold. Except that when the temperature did drop in November, with no means of heating the house, I did feel the cold inside. Outside, it was fine. Inside, in the mornings and evenings, sometimes I couldn't get warm enough. So then, I'm wondering, if I have AC in the summer and heat in the winter, how important is climate? Well, there's the environmental factor-using too much power. And there's the question of having to be out in extremes of heat or cold. Here in Fairhope, the winter is very, very mild with the need for a little bit of heat on chilly nights and mornings, but summers are a very different situation. Too hot, too humid to be outside much. Maybe Kentucky is just right...except for winter and summer! So, the answer to climate for me...I think...is that we're adaptable.
But what about proximity to our kids? That question we were able to answer definitively and unanimously: none of us liked the barrier--real or perceived--of our living out of the US, despite Vonage phones and email. Maybe for short time periods but not for extended ones. And lifestyle, whatever that really means? Living in the part of Mexico where we did felt very much to us (maybe only to me) like living in a dream world, a fairy tale--certainly not one that is ideal, but one that nevertheless didn't feel real. Living in an enclave of expat Americans and Canadians, I felt disconnected from real world issues and realities, even though they were all around me. I wondered if this is what living in a retirement village is like. Sort of like the movie Truman. I want to stress that this is my perception only; we have many friends who live there and have made that their real world with no sense of disconnect. I'm only saying that it didn't work for me. Would I go back? Absolutely. I hope to go back soon and often. I just don't see it as a viable way of living for us. Not yet anyway.

5) Work: This was a big question for me. I got a late start in my career in higher ed, and I was lucky enough to find a great deal of satisfaction in it. While there were so many things I could have done--and planned to do--during this hiatus from work, I found myself restless, unable to commit to volunteering or personal enrichment. No matter what, I just couldn't seem to establish the kind of goals and structure that I was used to doing with a work schedule. These few weeks in Fairhope have been closer to that kind of satisfactory mix of activities: taking the pottery class once a week, caring for Gaby a few times a week, taking walks with Bob and the dogs, watching movies with Bob, reading. But I do want to go back to work in August. For how long, I don't know, but I'm ready to go back.

Mostly, I just feel really lucky to have had this period of experimentation to step back and take stock. Maybe I'll add more reflections as we get closer to the next stage.

Poor Kentucky

For those of you living in warmer climes (like us at the moment), you'll probably take great satisfaction in being where you are instead of in this picture--Louisville. An ice storm Tuesday night, followed by a few inches of snow, has caused great havoc and massive power outages across the state that may last as long as two weeks. Yikes! Let's get that stimulus package going to work on the grid.

Oh Happy Day!!

I'm not a very religious person, but I woke up this morning with the echo of words from one of the Jewish prayer books:a prayer for our country.

Our God and God of our ancestors: We ask Your blessings for our country, for its government, for its leader and advisors, and for all who exercise just and rightful authority. Teach them insights of our Torah, that they may administer all affairs of state fairly, that peace and security, happiness and prosperity, justice and freedom may forever abide in our midst.

Creator of all flesh, bless all the inhabitants of our country with Your spirit. May citizens of all races and creeds forge a common bond in true harmony to banish all hatred and bigotry and to safeguard the ideals and free institutions which are the pride and glory of our country.

May this land under Your Providence be an influence for good throughout the world, uniting all people in peace and freedom and helping them to fulfill the vision of Your prophet: "Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they experience war any more." - from Siddur Sim Shalom © 1989 Rabbinical Assembly

This is just a test

Do not adjust your set. I don't like sending the whole blog post as email because it messes with my layout that I spend a looooong time setting up. So what I'm trying to do is just send notification that there's a new post.

Nothing in particular

I keep thinking, after every move we make, that soon life will evolve into some kind of routine. Of course, that never really happens, and I guess "routine" would soon become boring. Mindy/Mel's emergency surgery in December postponed our settling in here in Fairhope for a little while, but between Christmas and New Year's we were finally able to finish unpacking boxes packed in Mexico and find places for everything.

The last week in December we were on our own since Corey, Candy, and Gaby were still in KY visiting the Webers (Candy's family).
Bob and Evelyn Young (friends from early navy days) invited us to dinner one night, and they came here for a New Year's Day brunch. We walked to the library with the dogs, taking turns outside at a little park. The two dogs got quite a bit of attention as usual. Then C,C,&G came back to town and the pace picked up fast. We began our belated Hanukkah and lit candles most every night.
Candy is in the midst of rehearsals for Much Ado about Nothing in Mobile,(she's Beatrice)and she worked a lot last week so we didn't see very much of her. Corey is still going into work and has picked up some extra work from his old job in California which he can do from his RIISnet office or from home. So we kept Gaby a good bit last week. We went to the park/beach just below the house.
She rode her little bike and Bob carried it down the bluff steps. We fed the ducks and geese at the duck pond, and the dogs trotted happily on their leashes. Another day we walked to the library with her for story time--only story time didn't start up again until this week. Gaby walked (and ran) all the way there and back without any lifts.

This week is a little bit slower (on the babysitting front) since Candy is trying to plan her work schedule around Gaby's preschool. We'll be babysitting two or three afternoons. Yesterday I had my first pottery class at the Fairhope Arts Center, which is only about 3 blocks away. I'm so excited. I've wanted to do this for over 30 years! We had Gaby for a couple of hours then went to Sam's to stock the freezer. Corey has a sinus/ear infection so I made chicken soup yesterday and Gaby will help me make the matzo balls to add to it this evening. Since Candy is rehearsing most every night, Corey and Gaby share dinner with us most nights.

Trying to do our part for the economy, we bought a new TV this week--flat-screen LCD. Bob is thrilled(so am I), since it's a purchase we've talked about for awhile. Bob and Corey watched the KY/Tennessee basketball game last night in high definition last night. Since KY won, they were very happy with the experience.


(Note: I could have put an image here related to UK basketball, but the UL Cardinal in me just wouldn't allow it, so the TV image won out.)

Slow Blogging

I read an interesting blog today that took me back to a NYT article here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/23/fashion/23slowblog.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper

which described Todd Sieling's Slow Blog. In this second link, http://toddsieling.com/slowblog/?page_id=10, he describes his manifesto of slow blogging. I like it, and I'm intrigued by the possibilities of using blogs in a first semester freshman writing class. Also, I'm wondering what impact Facebook and Twitter will have on blogging and emailing. Not to mention texting. With the resurgence of written communication via computer during the 90s (email and then blogs), will these shorter forms replace them? And is this satisfying enough? With Facebook expanding our networks geometrically, maybe these one-liners posted to all are all we can manage. Hmmm.